The Care and Feeding of An Actual Mess of a Person

When this year started, I had huge, wonderful plans for this blog.

Post three times a week, minimum.

Participate in every free-write flash fiction compilation I could find.

Discuss current submissions out for publication at least once a month.

Maybe even bring some life things into play.

 

Something about best laid plans should go here, I think.

 

It’s July 1 now.

Half the year is over.

Lots has happened.

Much of life has been eaten away by being lost in the dark clouds of depression and anxiety.

It’s still less than optimal, really.

But the theoretical clouds do seem to be lessening a bit.

I’m not sure if it’s a temporary lift or something more permanent.

May as well take the opportunity while it’s here.

I’ll work on it.

A Fresh Start

So much has changed, just from the beginning of the year.

I haven’t forgotten about this tiny corner of the internet. I’ve been working on projects. Working on family. Life. Writing, always.

We’ve left the bustle of a major metropolis in the valley for a tiny (to me) town, half a mile away from the California coast.   I’ve wanted to live here my whole life. It still feels like a dream.

I felt burned out. At the end of my line. For so long.

Now, I feel my wings coming back. Unfurling.

Like a phoenix. I shall rise.

 

Morro Rock

New neighborhood

 

Ambulance Rides

You think about a lot of things when your heart is pounding at 234 beats per minute.

For no reason.

For half an hour straight.

I thought about my daughter. I thought about my husband. I thought about my cats. I thought about my friends.

I was strapped in the back of an ambulance, trying not to absolutely lose my shit as it took three tries toset up an IV, three tries of increasing dosage of Adenosine to slow my pulse to something less deadly.

I wondered if the last thing I would see would be the bags of saline, set up for easy grabbing by the EMTs. Continue reading